Definition: Swinging

Sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is “non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple.”[1] The phenomenon of swinging (or at least its wider discussion and practice) may be seen as part of the sexual revolution of recent decades, which occurred after the upsurge in sexual activity made possible by the prevalence of safer sex practices during the same period. Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term has been criticized as andocentric (taking a male-oriented point of view) and inaccurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part.

Etiquette for parties and clubs (extract taken from the excellent site http://what-is-swinging.com)
We all want to have fun with the people we meet, the best way to achieve this is by adhering to good old fashioned good manners, and treating everyone you contact or meet with the respect you want them to show you. I am not going to write a full etiquette book here, but offer some simple guidelines that over my 30 years of swinging I have found work as well now as they did when I entered the scene in the 1970´s.

Courtesy Works

Everyone in the swinging scene has their own unique set of reasons for being there, and their own personal baggage in the shape of insecurities. Be polite when meeting them, be friendly and open when talking to them, and if you get to play with someone, thank them afterwards.
Being polite does not mean you have to play with everyone, but if you want to turn someone down, do so gently – remember there will be times you will be turned down, so think how you would like to be treated.

Make no enemies

Whether or not you are personally interested in swinging with someone, be polite. You never know, you may share many other interests or you may meet that person again, and they may introduce you to someone with whom you ARE compatible and do wish to share time.

Be responsive

Party hosts spend a lot of time making arrangements for parties. They have to choose who to invite, send the invitations, prepare the venue, the entertainment and the food and drinks. If a host chooses to invite you, common decency would suggest that you should respond, even a negative response is better than no response. Leaving it to the day of the party to say yes or no makes it almost impossible for the host to decide on catering requirements.

Be generous

Attending a club, or a paid party does not require any gifts or money from you beyond the door fee. But if you are attending a private party, then good manners suggest that you should take something with you.
Dont take along a cheap bottle of plonk, then proceed to drink the hosts out of fine spirits. Take along a bottle of the drink that you and your partner will be drinking. If you want to score an extra few points with the hosts, take along a little keep-sake for the hostess.

Be Prepared

Don’t expect the hosts to provide everything, remember that there could be 50 other people at the party, and few house party hosts will have enough toiletries or towels to cope with that many people.
So, take whatever you personally are going to need with you. Carry a small overnight bag for lingerie or robe, hairbrush, comb, toothbrush, cologne, intimate cleansing articles, condoms, etc.. If you plan to stay over, sleeping bags or blankets and pillows are necessities.

Personal hygiene

Nothing turns a person off faster and more effectively than an unclean body or stale breath. Even if you shower and perfume yourself before you leave home, it is always a good idea to freshen up again when you arrive at your destination. Travelling more than a few miles will undo a lot of your personal grooming.

Have respect for the feelings of others.

Be aware, just like you, not everyone is comfortable in all situations, Keep your eyes open for signs that your partner, as well as others, is relaxed and enjoying themselves. If someone is not comfortable, try helping them over the rough spots. Remember, you were a beginner once yourself. If it is obvious that things are not working out, remain polite and courteous; but alert the host. Keep in mind that not all people feel the same about things.

Avoid being pushy

If you are interested in swinging with someone, let them know in an friendly way; if they are interested, they will respond positively. If they are not and say “No, thank you,” do not ask WHY. No amount of sweet talk or coercion on your part will change their mind and will probably work against you. Everyone has the right to say “NO” at all times, to anyone, without explanation. Nver forget that.

Keep it Fun

Do not allow yourself to become sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested in. There is no reason to involve yourself in a scene that you are not comfortable with. You are at the party, and in the swinging lifestyle to enjoy yourself, so only do what you want, when you want and with whom you want.

How to say “NO”

One of the basic tenets in swinging is the right of anyone to say “No” at any time.
In the swinging world everyone accepts the premise that everyone has the right to say “No” to anyone at anytime.
Saying “NO” should be done with a simple “No thank you”. Never try to give an explanation, because that is what usually causes the problems and the pain.

Drugs and alcohol

Most people in the swinging lifestyle do not use drugs, though many of us drink socially. At times, a few drinks are nice to help you “relax”. Over indulging may hamper your physical abilities, as well as offend or turn other people off to you. If you have to over indulge in order to participate in swinging, you are involved in the wrong lifestyle.
No drugs, with the exception of the new sex pills such as viagra and cialis, have any positive effect on your sexual performance. A drugged up person will be quickly ejected by any self respecting party host.

Safe Sex

It is up to us all to protect ourselves as well as our partners.
Although research carried out in America suggests that the levels of all STD´s within the swinging scene (where condom use is very low) are much lower than in the general population, it is wise to rubber up before going into action.
With the present concern over sexually transmitted diseases such as Chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhoea, aids, yeast infection, etc.., the use of condoms should not offend anybody. Anyone not willing to take this precaution is acting selfishly and irresponsibly. You are not being accused of being unclean, but simply someone wishes to provide you both with protection

Definition: Bukkake (Japanese: ブッカケ)
is a sexual practice that features a person being ejaculated on by multiple men. [2][3][4][5] The term has seen current usage in pornographic films, more expansively to include one or more subjects. Bukkake, in porn-parlance, also refers to mass ejaculation on any part of the body (not just on the face), or into various types of containers for the purpose of ingestion by the receiver.

Definition: Gang Bang
A gang bang (or gangbang) is a situation in which a person has sexual intercourse with multiple partners in turn or at the same time.


Main extract taken from the excellent site http://what-is-swinging.com

[1] Dr. Curtis Bergstrand and Ms. Jennifer Blevins Williams ,  “Today’s Alternative Marriage Styles: The Case of Swingers”, Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality, Vol.3, (10 October 2000).

[2] Paul, Pamela (2006-08-08). Pornified: How Pornography Is Damaging Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families. Owl Books. pp. 61. ISBN 978-0-8050-8132-9 0-8050-8132-1.

[3] NEW PARTRIDGE DICT SLANG V1. TF-ROUTL. 2005-12-05. pp. 288. ISBN 978-0-4152-5937-8 0-4152-5937-1.

[4] The Illustrated Dictionary of Sex. Lotus Press. 2007-11-30. pp. 35. ISBN 978-8189093594 8189093592.

[5] La palabra y el hombre. Universidad Veracruzana. 1957.